Pregnancy and its planning is a serious period in the life of most married couples. Some start toddlers without even thinking about the fact that they should prepare for this, while others carefully plan this crucial step. From many women, especially at a gynecologist's appointment, you can hear: "I want a child, but I don't know where to start." In fact, there is nothing difficult in planning, you just need to follow certain instructions.
We want to have a baby - where should we start?
Some doctors say that if a couple is healthy, then conception will come quickly and without much effort. Supporters of this theory are advised to start planning when they have a desire, without bothering with the delivery of tests. However, everything is far from simple, and here you should not forget about hidden infections that can be in a "dormant state", but during pregnancy, both in the fetus and in the future mother, cause a lot of problems.
We want a child with my husband and visit the doctor - this is where you need to start planning your pregnancy. A consultation with a gynecologist is recommended for a woman in order to assess her health and determine the presence of pathological and inflammatory processes... In addition, it is imperative to pass an analysis on Where to start for a man, so that the phrase "we want to conceive a child" does not turn into an empty phrase - delivery to determine the qualitative composition of semen.
When people decide to conceive a child, they usually just want it. But they also want him to be born healthy and grow up smart and beautiful. And, therefore, in recent years, the correct planning of future pregnancy has become increasingly important. It reduces the risk of miscarriage and prevents possible complications during pregnancy. So how do you plan your pregnancy?
For convenience, we will divide the necessary activities into three parts.
Part number 1: "Psychological"
You must be sure that you really want a child. It is good if there is an inner readiness. People who plan ahead for the birth of a child usually guess that this is an event that will change their usual way of life. Together with loved ones, it is necessary to tune in to a wave of understanding and support. It will be great if you have the opportunity to communicate with children (especially small ones) and their parents in order to get an impression of life in a family with a child. It is better if in your imagination you exaggerate the difficulties that you will have to face. Well, if you are not intimidated by anything, then proceed to the next stage.
Part # 2: "Medical"
Not everyone likes communication with doctors. But now you have to be in constant contact with them. The planning and management of pregnancy, the birth and subsequent life of your child will be accompanied by constant medical supervision, so tune in to the positive initially. In order to plan and give birth to a healthy child, you will need to carry out a number of actions, which we conditionally divide into two groups: the "Minimum" program and the "Maximum" program.
Minimum program:
1. Visit to the gynecologist and urologist. The first thing you should do is see your gynecologist (woman) and urologist (man) for an examination. The doctor will assess your lifestyle, the state of the reproductive system, and find out the presence of diseases.
2. The following analyzes will need to be done:
General analysis of blood and urine
Blood test for group and Rh factor (to exclude the risk of incompatibility of future parents)
Blood test for antibodies to rubella and toxoplasma
Blood for HIV antibodies, hepatitis B and C viruses, determination of the Wasserman reaction RW (serodiagnosis of syphilis), cytomegalovirus (CMV)
Blood smears and blood tests for genital infections - PCR
Viral infections must be identified and treated before conception, as they increase the risk of miscarriage and can cause fetal malformations.
If rubella antibodies are not detected, then at least three months before the planned pregnancy, it is recommended to get vaccinated to eliminate the risk of rubella in the expectant mother, because this carries a huge risk of pathologies in the child.
"Maximum Program": If you have an unsuccessful heredity, chronic diseases, health complaints, or you are just a very responsible and serious person, you should visit other doctors:
1. Visit to a therapist and other specialists. To assess the state of health, it is necessary to visit a therapist, dentist, ENT doctor, allergist, endocrinologist, cardiologist, etc. Chronic diseases can negatively affect pregnancy and the future baby, so it is very important to identify them and work out a program of further actions with the doctor before conception.
2. Visit to a geneticist. They come to a geneticist to assess the risk of possible pathologies in an unborn child. Geneticist compiles pedigree, analyzes hereditary diseases, determines if the family is at risk and recommends further testing.
3. Determination of the chromosome set of a pair. It is done to identify the risk of chromosomal pathology.
Part number 3. "Lifestyle"
Planning a pregnancy entails changes in the lifestyle of future parents.
It is best to start preparing for pregnancy at least three months before conception, because it is in the first weeks that the fetus is most susceptible to adverse effects. A healthy lifestyle, following the doctor's recommendations will allow you to minimize all risks.
let's consider main components healthy way life of the future mother:
1. Nutrition. First of all, it is very important to monitor your weight. Pregnancy is not a time for dieting, so if you have weight problems, try to address them early. Not only overweight, but also underweight is one of the factors complicating the course of pregnancy. Your diet should be varied and must include fruits, vegetables, cereals, meat and dairy products.
2. Sports. If you have the opportunity and desire, start playing sports (if you haven’t done it before). Being in good physical shape makes childbirth much easier. It is especially good to strengthen the muscles of the abdominals and back. And walk in the fresh air as much as possible.
3. Bad habits. There are no people who do not know that smoking, alcohol and drugs are detrimental to the health of an unborn child. And, nevertheless, there are many moms and dads who do not consider it necessary to give up their bad habits because of such an insignificant reason as the birth of an heir. No need to join their ranks. Yes, healthy children are born to parents who smoke, and sometimes to drinkers, even less often to drug addicts. Are you ready to take risks?
4. Medicines and vitamins. Taking medications during pregnancy is possible only after consulting a doctor. This applies to eliminate the risk of overdose. An overdose of vitamins A and D is especially dangerous for the fetus. Three months before the expected date of conception, it is necessary to start taking vitamins with folic acid in order to prevent congenital diseases. The doctor will tell you about this.
5. Pets. And although of all pets, only cats pose a real risk during pregnancy, it is still advisable to be more careful with them. Now for the cats. Cats are carriers of toxoplasmosis, which is dangerous not so much for the pregnant woman herself, but for the unborn child. Toxoplasmosis is the cause of serious pathologies in the development of the fetus. Therefore, during pregnancy, it is necessary to limit contact with cats. If it is not possible to attach your cat to relatives and friends during pregnancy, then simply free the pregnant woman from caring for her. In extreme cases, all manipulations with the animal must be carried out with rubber gloves. You can also have your cat's blood tested for toxoplasmosis.
6. Work. Now, everyone more women, especially business and successful people leave to give birth directly from their workplace. This is neither good nor bad. Every pregnant woman decides for herself what place work now occupies in her life. The only thing that must not be forgotten is that now you are not working for your boss, but for yourself and your unborn child, therefore try to ensure yourself the following points:
Lack of overload and stress
Time for good rest and sleep
Support from other employees
7. Mood. If you cannot avoid negative events, change your attitude towards them. Try to look at the world as positively as possible. Go to the cinema, theater, exhibitions, visit. Meet those people who charge you with positive emotions. If your physical condition and material capabilities allow - travel. Only not far and deliberately, so as not to give birth in the cabin of the aircraft at high altitude. Remember that your state of mind is passed on to your child.
Please tell me where you can get a high-quality and most complete preliminary examination when planning a pregnancy (if necessary, with the possibility of further treatment)
Tell me please. I was diagnosed with a small ectopia on the cervix (colposcopy was performed). The treatment was carried out with solkovagin. The results after six months are good: no inflammation in the vagina (3 years ago she treated chlamydia), no erosion. But I am worried about spotting spotting, which occurs 3-4 days before menstruation. There are no pains in these 4 days, menstruation is quite regular. During menstruation, there are pains for 3-4 days, lasting a couple of hours. The doctor said that the discharge was associated with an excess of hormones and did not suggest additional testing. For six months I was protected by Diana-35. During the intake, there was no strange discharge, there was a periodic deterioration in well-being (weakness, nausea). After the end of the admission, menstruation was on time, but in the third month, weak spotting began again 4 days before menstruation. Now my husband and I are planning a child, but I do not know if my symptoms indicate hormonal abnormalities. Should I go to the doctor for an additional examination and what research and analyzes should I insist on?
It is natural to make a diagnosis at a distance, having only the data that you gave is difficult. But similar symptoms, namely scanty spotting on the eve of menstruation, are most often a manifestation of endometriosis - a disease characterized by the spread of tissue similar in structure to the endometrium (uterine mucosa) into the thickness of the uterine muscle and / or other organs, or endometritis - inflammation of the uterus. If you have not had intrauterine interventions (abortion, curettage of the uterine cavity), then, most likely, endometritis is excluded. Pregnancy is a cure for endometriosis. However, this disease develops with a deficiency of the corpus luteum hormone (progesterone). Before planning a pregnancy, you should be examined. To pass smears for sexually transmitted infections and complicating the course of pregnancy (chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, herpes, cytomegalovirus, human papillomavirus), determine the level of antibodies to rubella and toxoplasmosis, cure teeth, be examined by a therapist, and of course determine the level of hormones in the blood, especially progesterone (take on 20-24 days from the onset of menstruation), estradiol (8-10 days), testosterone, TSH, T3, T4.
On May 10, I removed the IUD in order to give birth to my second child. / I live abroad. \\ The period of the IUD is 7 years. Ten days later I received a letter from the doctor that I have an infection based on the results of a smear. But the doctor did not indicate in the letter what kind of infection, I expect an answer from day to day. In the letter I received a prescription for ampicillin. Began treatment. Two days ago should have been the first day of menstruation. But cr. the discharge is very scarce. Spent home. pregnancy test - it is not. My questions for you: After a course of treatment with ampicillin, when can you plan a pregnancy, does it take some time for the body to recover? Or can I keep trying to get pregnant after 5 days of treatment?
Ampicillin is completely excreted from the body in about 2-3 days. In addition, this antibiotic is not contraindicated for use during pregnancy. However, it is necessary to find out what kind of infection was found in you. You may need to pass control tests or undergo a second course of treatment. Pregnancy against the background of an infectious and inflammatory process is not desirable.
How to prepare for pregnancy? What tests should I take? Should I be vaccinated? Should you take vitamins before pregnancy (which ones)?
You need to be tested for sexually transmitted infections (chlamydia, mycoplasmosis, ureaplasmosis, herpes virus, cytomegalovirus), this also applies to your spouse. Check the strength of the immunity to rubella, and if it is insufficient, then vaccinate at least 3 months before conception. Determine the presence and level of antibodies to toxoplasmosis in the blood to detect / exclude this disease. If it is present in the acute stage, it is necessary to conduct therapy. Determine the hormonal profile, because in case of violation of the hormonal status, problems with conception and bearing may arise. Both spouses need to attend a medical genetic consultation. Be sure to visit the dentist and solve all dental problems. Consult a physician. Hand over general blood and urine tests, biochemical blood test, blood for RW, HIV, undergo ECG, fluorography. If deviations from the norm are detected, treatment is necessary.
I am 30 years old. Finally, there was a desire and an opportunity to become a mother. This will be my first birth, I have not had any other pregnancies or abortions. There was only one operation to remove a dermoid cyst of the right ovary five years ago. I would like to know what difficulties I may have in connection with such an "advanced" age for the first pregnancy and how to properly prepare for it? I am healthy, my periods pass regularly, with practically no pain.
The danger of the first pregnancy and childbirth at such a "old" age is that women already have a baggage of chronic diseases, abortions, harm at work, bad habits, the risk of hereditary pathologies, etc. However, if a woman is healthy, then at the age of 30 she can endure a normal pregnancy and give birth to a healthy baby.
The good thing about having a baby at your age is that you take this step intelligently. You are serious about this issue, as evidenced by your question.
You need to be tested for sexually transmitted infections (chlamydia, mycoplasmosis, ureaplasmosis, herpes virus, cytomegalovirus), this also applies to your spouse. Check the strength of the immunity to rubella, and if it is insufficient, then vaccinate at least 3 months before conception. Determine the presence and level of antibodies to toxoplasmosis in the blood to detect / exclude this disease. If it is present in the acute stage, it is necessary to conduct therapy. Determine the hormonal profile, because in case of violation of the hormonal status, problems with conception and bearing may arise. Both spouses need to attend a medical genetic consultation. Be sure to visit the dentist and solve all dental problems. Consult a physician. Hand over general blood and urine tests, biochemical blood test, blood for RW, HIV, undergo ECG, fluorography. If deviations from the norm are detected, treatment is necessary.
My husband and I are 22 years old. We want to have a healthy baby. Could you write to us what kind of examination we need to undergo and what kind of tests we need to pass before having a baby. Maybe you still need to take vitamins? We've heard a lot about folic acid, tell me when it is better to start taking drugs with its content and which ones. And yet, what tests must be done during the pregnancy itself (we read that non-invasive methods are recommended for all women, is this true?).
Your approach to the problem of having a child gives out very responsible people in you. Indeed, in order to give birth to a healthy child, it is necessary to plan a pregnancy, be examined, if it is necessary to be treated, and during pregnancy to be under close medical supervision.
During pregnancy planning, both spouses need to be tested for sexually transmitted infections. Such diseases can complicate the course of pregnancy, and during childbirth, the child becomes infected from the mother and he will have health problems (from conjunctivitis to pneumonia).
It is advisable to visit a medical genetic consultation to find out if the spouses have any hereditary diseases.
A woman should be tested for antibodies (immunity) to toxoplasmosis and rubella. During pregnancy, these diseases are very dangerous for the fetus (severe malformations occur). It is also advisable to check the hormonal status of a woman, because endocrine disorders can lead to miscarriage. It would be good to pass general analysis blood and urine because the mother's general health affects the baby. For example, if you have anemia even before pregnancy, then during pregnancy it will worsen and your baby will not have enough oxygen. It is imperative that before planning a pregnancy, you must cure all foci of chronic infection (carious teeth, tonsillitis (sore throat) ...).
During pregnancy, a woman must be registered with a antenatal clinic. Only there she is given an “exchange sheet”, with which, or rather, without which she will not be accepted into any maternity hospital. A pregnant woman systematically undergoes blood and urine tests, her blood sugar level is determined, and her blood pressure is measured. This is necessary to monitor the health of the expectant mother. She is examined by a therapist, ophthalmologist, dentist. Necessarily ultrasound (early pregnancy, at 20, 32 weeks, on the eve of childbirth). In the period from 16 to 21 weeks. The level of alpha-fetoprotein in the blood can be determined. This is an indirect indicator of the state of the baby's nervous system. With a certain frequency, it is necessary to determine in the blood HIV and the Wasserman reaction.
As for vitamins, there are special vitamins for pregnant women, which contain those substances and in those quantities, cat. necessary for you and your child. They must be taken on the advice and under the supervision of a physician. too zealous in this is also not safe.
How to find out that you have a lack of iodine in your body, and what drugs should be used in case of its lack (especially before and during pregnancy)?
Need to check the status thyroid gland... To do this, the level of thyroid hormones (TSH, T3, T4, AT to TG) should be determined in the blood. These indicators will help you figure out how the thyroid gland is functioning. If violations are detected, it is imperative to correct them. Reduced function is especially dangerous during pregnancy. leads to damage to the nervous system of the fetus.
How long after a tetanus shot can you try to get pregnant?
In 2 weeks
When planning a pregnancy, I turned to a gynecologist, took a smear, identified microfloracocci, prescribed trichopolum, diazolin. If re-analysis is normal, after what time (days, weeks) can you try to conceive?
In the next cycle after trichopolis.
I work in a children's team and have a three year old child. Now my husband and I are planning another child. I know that infectious diseases during pregnancy can greatly affect the health of an unborn child. I am immune to rubella, but I definitely didn’t have chickenpox. Is it possible to somehow protect yourself from infection during pregnancy.
Unfortunately, there is no vaccine against this virus. Only hardening can serve as a preventive measure.
Hello. If it's not difficult for you, please answer my questions. In June 1996, I was diagnosed with chlamydia. Together with my husband, we underwent a course of treatment. She took a second test in a specialized center in April 1997, that is, quite a lot of time passed after the completion of treatment. PCR analysis was negative. Then, just in case, I donated blood for CMV (blood and smear). The analysis was also negative. Could you tell me whether it is worth taking these tests again, given that I want to get pregnant? And one more question for you: what can the basal temperature mean in the second half of the cycle if it does not rise above 36.7-36.8 degrees? Is it possible to get pregnant with such a temperature? If this is a hormonal disorder, what tests should you do first?
Before pregnancy, it is better to do tests for herpes and cytomegalovirus (by blood). When measuring basal temperature, it is important to have a threshold - a temperature drop of 0.5-0.6 degrees in the middle of the cycle. If the initial temperature was low - 36.1-36.2 degrees, then the temperature in the second half of the cycle is unlikely to be higher than 36.8 degrees. An unfavorable situation is considered when the temperature is the same throughout the cycle - this is evidence of the absence of ovulation - the release of an egg from the ovary.
Over the past six months, I have had two anovulatory cycles, a month's delay in the summer, and a miscarriage in January. On ultrasound - the soldering process in the small pelvis. I am planning a pregnancy in the next six months, do I need to take now hormonal drugs, restoring the cycle and preparing for pregnancy, and what.
It is necessary to use drugs, such as morvelon, femoden, microginon, etc. But we recommend that you contact a specialist for examination, the doctor will decide the need for taking medications.
My husband and I have been living in marriage for five years we want a child but we cannot get pregnant We went through the examination, we are both healthy Advise how we should be and what may be the reasons
Examination of a married couple for a sterile marriage is rather lengthy and multi-stage. There are more than 20 reasons for infertility according to modern concepts.
Necessary examinations at the first stage: measurement of "basal" temperature for at least 3 menstrual cycles; examination for infections (PCR smears for mycoplasma, chlamydia, ureaplasma, Trichomonas); hormonal tests (testosterone, prolactin); spermatogram of the husband. Further examination depends on the results of the first stage.
What methods of contraception can be used in the last months before the desired pregnancy?
Condom, local creams and pills, interrupted intercourse, calendar method
I really want to have a baby, but I don’t know if I can survive the pregnancy, I’m very afraid of childbirth. Advise me how to be
You, of course, will be able to endure pregnancy and give birth to a healthy child, if you do not have serious chronic diseases for which doctors do not recommend getting pregnant. The problem of fear is rather psychological - contact a psychological counseling center, family planning centers, pregnancy clubs, etc. Get a medical examination before pregnancy, including for intrauterine infections.
For a family that wants to have a child, the topic of conception becomes the most relevant and interesting. Despite the abundance of all kinds of information about conception, the moment of the birth of life is still largely a mystery, which often leads to the emergence of the most ridiculous myths about the physiology of the natural onset of conception.
How often to have sex
There is an opinion that conception depends on the frequency of sex. That is, in order for the pregnancy to come as soon as possible, you need more have sex... The origin of this popular myth is explained quite simply: since conception occurs as a result of intimate relationships, people try to logically connect these two facts. In fact, there is no connection between the frequency of intimate relationships and the likelihood of conception.
Directly for fertilization, one sexual intercourse is enough; most likely conception during ovulation(the release of a mature egg from the ovary), which usually corresponds to the middle of the regular menstrual cycle (12-16th day from the first day of the previous menstruation with a cycle of 24 to 32 days).
The only factor in a marital relationship that truly increases the likelihood of conception is regularity. intimacy with the same partner; however, the rhythm of the spouses' sexual life can be individual and does not affect the probability of conception.
Prolonged abstinence
Prolonged abstinence increases the chances of conception. According to this recommendation, you need to "save energy" for conception... However, here, too, there is no connection between the frequency of intimate life and an increase in the probability of conception. The positive effect of prolonged abstinence in order to increase the chances of conception is completely doubtful: artificial prolonged abstinence from sex in the presence of sexual desire is fraught with the development of venous stasis in the vessels of the small pelvis in both spouses, and this can lead to varicose veins pelvic veins and the appearance of chronic pelvic pain, as well as the possibility of infertility.
Sex only for ovulation
For a successful conception, you need to have sex only in ovulation... In this advice, as they say, truth and fiction are mixed: on the one hand, the probability of conception during ovulation is really maximum, on the other, it is completely incomprehensible why one should not perform marital duties on less "happy" days? Apparently, here again comes into force the fear, natural for a person, to waste energy in vain, "not to finish" the necessary potential before the cherished day "X".
Despite the grain of truth regarding the high probability conception to ovulation, the advice cannot be called correct. Firstly, the date of ovulation can shift significantly closer to the beginning or end of the cycle, and not occur precisely in its middle, even with quite regular menstruation. Such changes in the schedule can be caused by stress, climate change, physical activity, recent illness, or simply small hormonal fluctuations that are normal in a healthy woman. Thus, the middle of the cycle is just the most frequent, but not at all necessary time for the maturation of the egg and its release from the ovary.
There is no method that allows you to accurately record the moment a mature egg leaves the ovary: even ultrasound, which is considered the standard of diagnosis in this area, still allows for the possibility of an error in determining the moment of ovulation... Home methods, such as ovulation tests or basal temperature measurements, will also not 100% guarantee that ovulation has occurred. And this means that, having incorrectly calculated the date of ovulation and having sex only on these days, the spouses do not increase at all, but, on the contrary, reduce the chances of conceiving a child in this menstrual cycle. After all, the egg cell lives only 24 hours, and if it does not meet with the sperm, then pregnancy will not occur. With regular intimacy, longer living sperm cells (up to 1 - 1.5 weeks) can wait for the moment of ovulation and fertilize the egg.
Secondly, sometimes it happens that as a result of small hormonal changes in one cycle, ovulation occurs in both ovaries - i.e. two eggs ripen and are ready for fertilization at once; while the interval between adjacent ovulations can be extended within 7-10 days. Obviously, in this scenario of the cycle, the advice to have sex only on the days of expected ovulation (12-16th day) also turns out to be a losing one and only reduces the chances of an early pregnancy. With poliovulation, pregnancy can occur even at this time - after all, the second egg can ovulate just at this time, when the first has already died. However, you should not use this information as a guide to action - sex during menstruation often becomes the cause of inflammation of the genitals, since when the uterine mucosa is rejected during menstruation, the organ inside is a wound surface, and the penetration of microbes into the uterus can easily lead to inflammation.
Orgasm and conception
No orgasm, no conception. The authors of this myth are convinced that for pregnancy during sex future mommust certainly get a sexual release - an orgasm. This method of planning conception is substantiated as follows: during orgasm, the vaginal environment becomes alkaline, which greatly facilitates the movement of sperm to the egg. And since the speed of movement of spermatozoa largely depends probability of conception (the life span of both sex cells is limited, and they literally need to have time to meet), the chances of conception increase dramatically. There is certainly logic in such reasoning; however, one should not place too high hopes on this relationship. The main factor on which the possibility of conception depends is the onset of ovulation; if this has not already happened, the "sprinting ability" of the sperm will not speed up the onset of conception.
Nutrition and chances of conception
The chances of conception depend on the diet. This idea cannot be called absolutely wrong - the diet of future parents really has a significant impact on health in general, and on the reproductive sphere in particular, on which the possibility of conception depends. That is why a couple who have consulted a doctor are first of all recommended to review their diet and follow a balanced diet. However, unfortunately, many people misunderstand this recommendation and begin to strengthen the diet in the direction of increasing the calorie content of food. It is generally accepted that for health future parents it is useful to eat "for two", preferring foods with an abundance of proteins and fats of animal origin. This opinion is incorrect - and not only in relation to the planning period of pregnancy: such a saturated diet is extremely unfavorable for health.
High-calorie food is appropriate only for excess physical activity; in other cases, it inevitably leads to an increase in blood cholesterol levels and its deposition on the walls of blood vessels with the formation of atherosclerotic plaques, narrowing the lumen of the vessels. Excessive intake of cholesterol in the body is a high risk factor for the development of obesity, hypertension (steadfast increase blood pressure), disorders of the heart, liver and kidneys. Such nutrition also has a sharply negative effect on the work of the reproductive system, both for women and men.
However, the very idea of \u200b\u200bcorrecting the diet before conception really relevant - especially for the future dad. Family planning experts recommend that men, a few weeks before day "X", reduce the consumption of fatty and spicy foods, starchy foods, and also try to eliminate creamy sauces, mayonnaise, fast food and canned food from their daily diet, as they can reduce male potency and sperm activity. The likelihood of conception is increased by seafood, low-fat varieties of fish and meat, herbs, nuts, legumes, fruits and berries. The predominance of these products in the diet contributes to an increase in the sexual activity of men and a decrease in sperm viscosity, stimulates spermatogenesis (the formation of sperm in the testicles), and has a positive effect on the speed of sperm movement. The probability of pregnancy depends on these male factors.
Horizontal position
For the onset of conception, the expectant mother must lie in horizontal position after intercourse. This myth has a large number of modifications and clarifications. For example, many are convinced that conception is possible only in the missionary position (a position in which the woman lies on her back and the man is on top). Others argue that for a successful conception, a woman must remain in a horizontal position for at least a few minutes (and according to some versions - at least an hour!). Finally, there is a recommendation lying on your back, raising your legs up, doing a birch tree after intercourse, that is, lying on your back, raising your pelvis and stretching your legs up - a very popular method, discussed with might and main on maternal forums on the Internet. Despite such different variations, the essence of all the listed tricks comes down to one thing: so that after intercourse the sperm does not leak out of the vagina.
Sperm is a kind of environment, optimal for the preservation of the "fighting qualities" of sperm, and it consists of sperm and seminal fluid. Semen is necessary for the transport of sperm along the spermatic cords and their release into the vagina at the time of ejaculation (ejaculation). However, once inside the vagina, male reproductive cellsno longer so dependent on seminal fluid; immediately after ejaculation, they rush into the cervical canal, and the seminal fluid remains in the vagina. Thus, leakage or retention of semen in the vagina does not affect the likelihood of conception. The posture of a woman also does not affect the advancement of spermatozoa towards the egg cell, so it makes no sense to lie or stand in a "birch tree" for a long time after intimacy.
How long do sperm cells live?
Many people think that a sperm is capable of fertilizing an egg for only a few hours. In fact, this is not the case: the minimum lifespan of a healthy male reproductive cell is 24 hours, and some sperm can live for more than a week! The difference in sperm life is not accidental; they are divided into two types - X and Y, on which the sex of the unborn child depends. Sperm with "charge" Y (contain the sex chromosome Y) at conception determine the male sex of the embryo, and those containing the X chromosome - lay the formation of the female sex. It is important to note that the spermatozoa of these groups differ not only in genetic factors that subsequently determine the sex of the embryo, but also in physical properties... Long-term studies in the field of embryology and genetics have shown that these types of sperm differ in size, shape, speed of movement and resistance to adverse environmental factors.
Future boys - Y spermatozoa - are small in size and have a longer "tail" that allows them to develop a significant speed of movement. Thus, sperm of group Y are very mobile and active, which, other favorable conditions, gives them significant advantages for fertilization. However, sperm with a Y charge also have disadvantages - they are not resistant to aggressive environmental conditions (high and low acidity, temperature extremes). Another disadvantage of "boy sperm" is the low life expectancy. Even if it gets into the most favorable environment immediately after ejaculation, Y-spermatozoa live on average no more than 24 hours. In contrast to them, sperm of group X, larger and, as a result, less mobile, adapt much better to external unfavorable conditions and retain the ability to fertilize sometimes up to 1–1.5 weeks! Medical studies even describe cases of "conservation" of sperm X in the fornix of the vagina for the period of menstruation and subsequent conception at the beginning of the next menstrual cycle. By the way, this is one of the reasons explaining the possibility of conception during menstruation - X-sperm can just wait for ovulation! Therefore, the opinion that the sperm age is determined by several hours is absolutely unfounded. Unlike the ovum, whose lifespan after ovulation on average lasts no more than 24 hours.
Oocyte fertilization
Fertilize an egg may have a few sperm. According to this version, the probability of conception is similar to applying for a grant on a competitive basis. This is partly true, since the path of the sperm to the egg consists of continuous tests and obstacles (acidic vaginal environment, viscous secretion in the cervical canal, finally, two fallopian tubes, only one of which contains a mature egg). In this sense, it is really possible to consider that the future participant in fertilization is identified in the process of a competition for survival, in which, naturally, the strongest wins. However, in fact, only one sperm is always involved in the fertilization process - even if several male germ cells were moving simultaneously to the egg during the selection process.
The shell of the sperm head contains a special substance - an enzyme that can dissolve the shell of the egg. As soon as one of the sperm reaches the target and touches the egg, its membrane dissolves at the point of contact; this effect lasts for a fraction of a second, during which the sperm is inside the egg, after which it becomes impenetrable again, and the rest of the sperm - "applicants" are left with nothing. Immediately after the union of the sperm and the egg, their nuclei merge and the exchange of genetic information takes place - this is the laying of a new DNA of the unborn child. Even in the case of multiple pregnancies, only one sperm fertilizes one egg.
Identical twins are obtained by dividing an already fertilized egg into two equal halves - this is due to a genetic malfunction and can be inherited; such twins are always of the same sex and look like two drops of water. Another variant of multiple pregnancy - fraternal twins - is formed as a result of polio (simultaneous maturation of several eggs in one or different ovaries); here the reason often lies in hormonal imbalance. Fraternal twins can be heterosexual; they are very similar or completely different from each other, just like children from the same family who were born at different times. However, in this case, there is only one sperm for each egg.
No matter how many years I have worked as a family psychologist, I never cease to be amazed at how frivolous, and sometimes frankly irresponsible, many women take a decision about. Every week, women come to see me who have five, ten, or even all fifteen years of experience in marriage, complain about the chilling or infidelity of their husbands, but at the same time do not have children in their family! Moreover, in this case, we are not talking about such couples where there are serious health or reproductive problems, where a man and / or a woman, for some reason, is not able to conceive or bear a child. And not about those couples who basically decided for themselves that they would remain childless all their lives. No and no again. We are talking about such couples where they did not start conceiving children for completely different reasons!
What do you not hear in response when you ask: why at thirty or thirty-five years old, having an official marriage, you don't have a child yet? Most often it sounds something like:
— For a long time there was no home of their own, it was not considered correct to have a child in a rented apartment (or living with parents).
- For the first decade they still earned little, built a career, did not want to breed poverty, so they did not give birth!
- They waited until the husband's business develops to the required degree!
- We were busy with an important matter (writing a dissertation, waiting for an appointment, conducting scientific research), we thought that we would always have time to have children.
- We are still too young, have not walked up! Let's get tired of walking, that's when ...
- They believed that we had not yet matured to the required degree, that we would not cope with the hardships of fatherhood and motherhood, that we would be bad parents.
- Our grandmothers are still working; we'll wait until they retire to help us, then we'll get pregnant!
- If the state does not need children, even more so! The country has a big problem with kindergartens and schools: that's when everything will be built in the right amount, then we'll give birth at once!
- There were so many difficulties in the country and the world, economic crises happened so often, everything was so unstable that they did not risk bringing children into this crazy world.
- We paid off the mortgage, planned to have a child after the last payment was completed, but we still couldn't pay it off earlier ...
- For the first ten years of marriage, they swore a lot, all the time they lived on the verge of divorce, so they were afraid that we would divorce, and the child would be unhappy.
- We had bad relations with each other's parents, we understood that no one would help us, we were waiting for the relations with our relatives to warm up.
- Secretly from my husband / wife, I still loved another person (as a rule, a partner in a past relationship), there were hopes that we would nevertheless end up together and have children in this pair's configuration ...
- I kept waiting / and when my husband (my wife) asks for the children, but he was not in a hurry ... So I was in no hurry: do I need more than anyone?
And much more like that. What especially surprises me is that especially often I hear these arguments not from men, but from women. That is, it would seem from those for whom the concept of motherhood should be especially close.
Especially significant for me were two stories from practice. The names of the girls are, as usual, made up.
Valeria's story. Valeria turned to me for help when she was 37 years old. The girl had higher education, has been a highly professional fitness trainer with numerous awards for winning prestigious fitness and bodybuilding tournaments. At the age of 28, having met in a general campaign of friends, she married her age-old Ivan, a talented telecommunications engineer. The wedding coincided with the beginning of the girl's performances at the regional and then Russian championships. Ivan was very happy about the success of his wife and was sincerely proud of her.
The family originally had an apartment (Ivan), two cars. Ivan's income level was quite decent. The man quickly made a career, moving from an engineering staff to a managerial staff. After a couple of years of marriage, the husband delicately raised the topic of the need to have children. Valeria, for whom everything was going very well at that time, offered to wait until the moment when she starts losing tournaments and it will be possible to go into motherhood with a light heart. The girl's argument was logical: that physical layer, which she had so hard recruited for almost a decade, is very easy to lose from pregnancy, it is almost impossible to recruit later. Now her titles and uniforms allow her to constantly be promoted through television and magazines, to have many VIP clients who use her services as a personal trainer, to earn fame and money.
Undoubtedly, Valeria earned money. However, the girl herself admitted that her husband's salary was almost three times more, there was an urgent need to work until deep night in the gym was not. Nevertheless, the advice that a single mother hammered into her daughter's head since childhood is never to rely on men, since they are always traitors, it is much more correct to rely only on themselves, played their part. According to Victoria, secretly from her husband, she saved up funds to purchase her own one-room apartment, having which she could be confident in her own future and become a mother.
Mistrust in a family partner
creates as many problems as blind trust.
In the meantime, the plan to lose the competition and then become a mom didn't work. Working hard on herself, Valeria always got to the finals, which in turn motivated the girl to train further. After five years of marriage, the husband stopped bothering his wife with a stupid question about children. Even her own mother, busy with helping her grandson from her second daughter, fell behind. Offended by the delay in the issue of the appearance of grandchildren for both a weak-minded son and a wayward athlete, the mother-in-law practically stopped communicating with her daughter-in-law. Sex and communication in the family gradually became noticeably less. Valeria explained this by the fact that her husband had grown older and was very tired from work. The fact that my husband began to regularly go on business trips was also not very upsetting: after all, in these conditions, it was easier for the fitness icon to take time off for competitions in other cities. It was also wrong to be jealous of the girl's husband, since her very work would give her husband even more reasons to be jealous of his wife.
In general, the girl, carried away by her sports career, did not notice how nine years of marriage flew by. And so, when her gynecologist once again reminded the thirty-seven-year-old girl that the optimal reproductive years were already coming to an end, Valeria, with a feeling of inner protest, nevertheless decided on motherhood. To her surprise, her husband, who had once fought for children, did not express much joy about this. He said that now is November, the closing of the year is ahead, a lot of work and business trips, then the alcohol-festive period from January to March ... In general, making a child is actual closer to summer.
Valeria began to understand that something was wrong. Unbeknownst to her husband, she unexpectedly came to her mother-in-law, whom she had not been with for more than five years. The mother-in-law let her into the apartment, but she spoke very dryly and said that Valeria was a fool and had lost time herself when her husband wanted a child. Valeria objected that it was not too late to have a baby now, but her mother-in-law said that this would hardly become a reality. The girl began to refer to the fact that her women's health was in perfect condition, the mother-in-law kept silent. Beyond herself, Valeria directly asked her mother-in-law: does she not want to have grandchildren? The mother-in-law sharply said that she already had grandchildren and invited Valeria to leave her apartment. While dressing, the girl noticed children's things and toys on the shelf in the corridor, but she did not ask the stern mother-in-law about whose all this was. It is unlikely that she would have been told.
Not feeling her legs, she came home and recounted her dialogue with her mother-in-law to her husband, asking: what grandchildren was the woman who had only one son talking about? Then, seeing no reason to cheat, the husband directly said that he already had a four-year-old child from another girl, the girl was now pregnant with her second child, and the birth would be in four months. After that, according to the man's plans, he would have informed his wife about the upcoming divorce. Secretly from his wife, he, through equity participation, is now completing a one-room apartment (registered with his mother), which he is ready to give to his wife in order to peacefully leave as quickly as possible. Actually, therefore, the husband was not very happy about his wife's belated proposal to have a joint child.
According to him, he waited too much for this, observing that for Valeria, self-realization in sports is clearly more important than in motherhood. After which he drew attention to the girl at his work, saw her care for herself, willingness to give birth to him even in the conditions that the man was still married. The girl gave birth to a son to someone else's husband, her mother helped her a lot with the child. Then she again went to work for him, where she works to this day. The relationship in this couple is wonderful, the child sees dad regularly and does not even know that dad has another wife out there somewhere. After the birth of the second child, and the divorce from Valeria, an official marriage will finally be concluded. To the direct question why, with all this, the husband did not file for divorce for so long, the man could not say anything intelligible. By the way, this is a very standard situation:
Men with parallel families almost never
cannot clearly explain the reason for the delay in divorce.
That is, they can refer to the fact that they saved money, paid off mortgages, purchased housing in case of divorce, waited for the children to grow up, etc. But personally, I do not take these explanations seriously. For the simple reason that in my practice there were a huge number of such men who, even having saved up money, bought more apartments, raised their children, gave birth to other children in "leftist" relations, with all the claims to their wives, were still in no hurry to divorce ... Because we must honestly admit: to declare a divorce is actually very scary. And taking on such a responsibility is not very comfortable.
For men, declare a real readiness for divorce
much worse than calling a girl in marriage.
If they delay so long with the second, it is logical,
that preparation for the first takes many years.
In practice, even the birth of a child by his mistress does not always push a man to divorce his wife. Therefore, the easiest option for indecisive men is to shift the responsibility for divorce to another person, that is, just to his own wife. Hence, divorces most often become a reality only after the wife finds out about the betrayal and parallel relationship. She rashly makes a scandal, exacerbates everything, then the divorce became already logical and the only possible option development of the situation. So, dear wives, do not rush to file for divorce after learning about your husband's betrayal: do not make such a large gift to your mistresses and your husbands! Trust a practical psychologist: without your activity in this matter, your husband is very likely to stay with you.
Let's go back to Valeria and her husband. You can imagine the psychological state of an athlete girl who suddenly found herself faced with such a sad fact. It was terrible. Especially unpleasant, she said, was that the mother-in-law had long been aware of the whole story. The girl told her husband that she was ready to accept and forgive his children, as long as he stayed with her and did not file for divorce. But, the husband, behind whose back was a pregnant beloved woman with a young son, and his own mother who had been in good communication with them for a long time, was adamant. Two days later, without obtaining the consent of his wife to a simplified divorce procedure through the registry office, the man filed for divorce in the magistrates' court. After that, Valeria came to my appointment, asking me to help convince her husband at least to help her become a mother, that is, to allow her to become pregnant on her own. Since the girl did not want to look for another worthy man at the age of about forty years for the role of the father of her child. For ethical reasons, I will not tell you how this whole story ended. Before moving on to conclusions and recommendations, I will tell the second story.
Ulyana's story. The girl had a higher medical education, worked in a large medical laboratory. As a student, she married her former classmate, gave birth to a daughter. Unfortunately, the marriage broke up as the man turned out to be an alcoholic. Ulyana raised her daughter, lived in a mortgage one-room apartment. At thirty-two, Ulyana married a young engineer. At the time of the wedding, Sergei was twenty-seven years old, quiet calm guy lived with my mother.
Since the newlyweds were uncomfortable living with their thirteen-year-old daughter in a one-room apartment, the husband offered to pay off his wife's mortgage with his own money and take a large two-room apartment into another mortgage. The couple did so, the apartment was purchased. However, the salaries in the family were not high, the husband proposed to accelerate the payment of the loan due to his work on a rotational basis in the North. According to the original plan, such work was planned for only a couple of years. But, as you know, appetite comes with eating. The spouses made it a rule to go abroad to the sea every year, then twice a year. Ulyana asked her husband to buy a good car for the family, which, in view of her husband's shift work, she mostly drove herself.
Seven years passed unnoticed. Sergei brought up the conversation about the child, but his wife all the time avoided childbirth, referring to the fact that the mortgage needs to be paid, I want to live well now, and not in old age. And it’s better to wait until the daughter who graduated from school finds herself a man, moves out of the parental apartment, then it will be possible to give birth in completely comfortable conditions. In general, the wife insisted on approaching childbirth with the utmost responsibility and reproached her husband for being frivolous. Soft Sergei did not like to argue with his wife, the issue was not resolved in any way. But here the law comes into play, according to which if you have a certain resource and do not use it, sooner or later it will be taken away from you.
A wife who does not give birth to her husband's children is a bit like a dog in the manger:
and she herself does not use the man and tries not to give him to others.
The thirty-three-year-old man, right during his shift, was noticed by the thirty-year-old Inga, the head of the dining room. The girl herself was divorced; in her hometown, her mother had a five-year-old daughter. She did not play responsibility and pull: having created an affair with a promising engineer, she became pregnant and just in time for the celebration of the first year of the relationship, she gave birth to her own daughter to Sergei.
Being experienced in such matters, six months later, once again bringing herself into excellent physical shape, Inga called Sergei's wife Ulyana on the vibeer, showed her the child and demanded to let the man go to her for good, to another city.
Caught between two women, Sergey dutifully followed the more confident and purposeful one. He left Ulyana a two-room apartment, just for which mortgage payments were completed, took his car, divorced and moved to another city to live with his child. I hope he is quite happy in the long-awaited fatherhood. I had to work with Ulyana and her adult daughter, who quarreled with her own mother, accusing her of criminal selfishness towards her stepfather, who raised her like a native, but who was only mercilessly used in this family, without creating comfortable conditions for him, not providing respect for his requests and needs.
What do we see from these two stories? We see a simple pattern:
Female selfishness about childbirth is usually punished
the birth of a child from her husband to a completely different woman.
And all this is because the most important goal of long-term communication between a man and a woman is childbearing and raising children together. Everything else - sex, leisure, hobbies, hobbies, teamwork and mutual friends - is already secondary and comes and goes. Public pressure on a man and a woman from their parents, relatives, friends, society as a whole occurs primarily in the line of childbearing. You often see that relatives, friends and colleagues ask your husband or wife: “So how are you doing with sex?”, Or “How often do you go to the movies?”, Or “Does your loved one share your hobbies? ". Probably not. But everyone asks about the children, and they do it very tactlessly. Because this question is of paramount importance.
Therefore, the moral is obvious.
If the "family half" turned out to be a worthy person,
one should properly tie him / her to oneself by having children.
Moreover, do not delay with this question, because someone may turn out to be more irresponsible than you, but noticeably more energetic. After all, the rules of life have not been canceled. And they read as follows:
It is not the smartest who wins, but the quickest and most purposeful.
Responsibility burdens and slows down
irresponsibility makes it easier and faster.
Selfishness is always the path to loneliness.
To put it another way:
If you do not want to have children yourself, do not bother others to do it.
Because the instinct of procreation is not for nothing called the main one. As you know, water will always find a hole. Sperm - even more so.
So, I declare with authority: if a woman has a husband, he is not a problem, the family has some means - one should give birth, give birth and give birth again. If a man is successful and rich, it should be even more so. And there is no need to ask his consent and desire, even if you think that he will be “for”. If you are sure that he will be against it, just do not inform him during the first trimester of pregnancy in order to report a pleasant fact when all the terms of abortion have already passed. I tell you for sure:
Most of those who doubt the need
for him a child, in fact of his birth is always happy!
There are thousands of such stories in my work practice! And this is wonderful. So, give birth, give birth and give birth again. Otherwise, the husband sooner or later becomes unclear why he needs such a marriage. After all, exactly what the wife gives, another woman can give, plus she as nice bonus she will also give birth to a child, thereby delighting the relatives and friends of the man. Actually everything, there is nothing complicated here.
In this sense, a reasonable woman should not expect any special procreation commands from a man. If women of past centuries were waiting for the command of their husbands to have children, humanity would certainly have died out. Let's call a spade a spade:
Registration of marriage is nothing more than a signal for childbirth.
What else is there to wait? Divorce talks? Then it might be too late. Therefore, you should have children ahead of the curve: even if the mortgage has not yet been paid, even if there is not such a big post in life, even the economic crisis is raging in the country, even if it is a pity for an excellent figure. But, when there is an apartment, a big post, stability in the world and a figure sagging with age, it may simply not be possible to conceive a child, or someone else will give birth to a husband.
Children unborn in a family - divorce after forty years.
You can argue with me about the correctness of this statement to the point of hoarseness. Can. But I do not advise anyone to check the truth of this thesis on their personal biography. After all, I see its sad realization in the lives of women almost every day. Therefore, I tell you in conclusion:
Delayed children are a lost family happiness.
Often, not only family, but even personal.
Because a husband, in extreme cases, you can find another, but to give birth to a child for you, alas, may never work.
If you need the advice of a psychologist and personal consultation, I will always be happy to help you
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